The Excellent Woman - Proverbs 31 Category

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

I Am Second? Really?

hmm…ok I like the whole I Am Second thing, it’s a great way to put faith out there. But I was thinking…am I really second? When I study and teach about priorities, the order is not God first, me second.

I strive to make my priorities in the following order:
God
Husband
Home
Children
Private Life
Public Life

Why this order? Well, one it is biblical. When looking at Proverbs 31, and studying the priorities of the woman described, this is the priorities that we find. It is also what is taught in The Home Experience, which I am currently co-leading. It is funny how when you teach something, you are tested or the enemy will attack you in that area.

First is God. That is who we live for and all the other priorities fall under Him because we do everything to glorify and honor him. If at anytime, something goes before God, we have created an idol. Strive for God to be your number one priority!

Second is spouse. God created marriage and the roles of husband and wife. As a wife, I honor my husband. Often times, our children become a priority over our husband…and it’s true sometimes they take a lot of our time and energy. But God created the institution of marriage before children. If we are not honoring our spouse and giving him the priority he needs by putting our children above him, then our children are really not benefiting. They learn the values of marriage and authority by watching us.

Third is home.
When we look at Genesis, we see that God set Adam in the garden and gave him the rules establishing the responsibilities of the home.Because of society, this is often towards the bottom of the list…Homes are often neglected despite the fact that home is where the family was created and where it comes back together, it is where our children’s hearts are formed. Children need the stability of the home. Again, we often want to put our children above the priority of keeping our home…and by this I do not mean that we need to do all of our chores before taking care of the kids. What I mean is we need to make it a priority to keep an orderly, well-kept, peaceful home environment for our children. By placing children above our responsibilities at home, maybe by getting them involved in several different sports, school activities, and church and staying busy busy busy, we may be thinking our children are a healthy priority…however, when there is chaos, disorganization in the home or no prepared meals at the dinner table because of the business outside the home, then our children are actually suffering.

Fourth is children. After the home is the children. God gave the institution of home at creation before they had children. Sometimes I can get selfish and want to do something for me before my children. This is one reason, why I do not currently blog as much as I used to, or would like to. I felt that there were things, children being one of them, that I was neglecting while I was working on my blog.

Fifth is private life…me. This is my time… for women, this is often the last on the list and often never gets done. We need to make time to take care of ourselves, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Sixth is public life.
Specifically for me, this means my leadership roles within church small groups and the media work, my blog, our graphic design business, any other public responsibilities I have. If anything above is out of order (not that it is always perfect but it’s something I have to constantly check and correct), then my leadership is not anointed and areas of my life may not have the blessing and grace that it could. That is why it is last on the list…for me to impact others, walk in leadership and have blessing on areas of my life, then everything above needs to be a priority first. If I put a leadership role within my church above my family, then I am not honoring my family or God. By setting our priorities in order, we are honoring our number one priority, God.

Well, this started out as a small facebook note on I Am Second…turned into a whole blog on what we are teaching in my Home Experience Group! I hope it blesses someone who reads this!

Blessings! Marli @ Womanly Excellence
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Tuesday, August 26th, 2008

The Excellent Wife: Proverbs 31:11-12

I began this study on the Proverbs 31 woman by taking an in-depth look at verse 10. Verses 11 & 12 continue with the wife aspect of The Excellent Woman…

The Excellent Wife


11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain,
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. (NASB)



I love going back to the Hebrew when studying scripture. Sometimes (well, probably most of the time) our words and translations just cannot convey the same meaning. So bear with me, as I share with you some key words and their original meanings.

The Hebrew for the word “heart” is leb meaning “center” and is used figuratively for “inner man, mind, will, heart, understanding.”  This is also a Hebrew idiom for “care for” or “comfortably.”

The way he trusts her (batach), is the way we trust in the Lord. We can have a confident expectation.
Her husband trusts in her with full confidence, with every part of his
being…his inner man, his mind, his will, his heart, his
understanding. She gives him no reason not to trust her this way.

He is confident that he will have no lack of gain or “spoil” As we will see in verses 13-25, she is a diligent worker.  Everything she does only creates increase in their life.

How many husbands today can trust their wives in this same way?  I see women on television talking about how much money they spend shopping or debt they have racked up on a credit card, all behind their husband’s back. Not only is this not acting in agreement with her husband but she cannot be fully trusted. She is not thinking of him, she is only thinking of herself and what she desires.  What the excellent woman desires above all that is doing her best to make her husband succeed in everything he does.

Just a sidenote…How can we, as wives, strive toward this today? Well…if you have lingered around my blog before, then you should know what I’m going to say! ;) Budget! Spend wisely!   Save wisely! (and most importantly Give to God what is His and be generous to others!) Ok that is a blog for another time…


She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. (verse 12)

I find it interesting that the word do here (gamEal) is a form of “do” that is specifically for doing good. It also means “requite”, “reward” and “serve”.  She is intentional about serving her husband for the good of him. She will continue to do good  day after day. ALL the days of HER life … this goes without saying but note that this does NOT say, “All the days of her marriage” …her life!

Lord, please bless each and every woman who reads this. Give them a special, personal revelation unique to their situation about how she can become more like the woman of Proverbs 31. Lord, none of us are perfect; let us learn to be a blessing to our husbands. Show us how to do good and not harm all the days of our life. Remind us daily, Holy Spirit. Speak to our hearts how to make our husbands feel special and loved. Help us to become a wife worthy of this kind of trust…that our husbands can have a confident expectation in us. Thank you Father for this passage you have given us. Thank you for grace. I pray this in the Holy and precious name of Jesus, Amen.

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Friday, August 8th, 2008

The Excellent Woman – Proverbs 31:10

I would like to start a study on Proverbs 31-10-31…the excellent (NASB) woman.
This passage is an acrostic style poem that King Lemuel’s mother taught him (just like a mother, isn’t it? We are to teach our sons what to look for in their future wife!) An interesting tidbit about this passage:


It has become a Jewish custom for men to recite this hymn at the end of the week, and thus to think about and be thankful for all his wife has done for him and their family throughout the past week.


Proverbs 31:10:
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies?” NIV
“An excellent wife, who fan find? For her worth is far above jewels.”  NASB
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”  KJV

You might notice each version (as well as many others), describe the woman/wife with a slightly different adjective…
Noble, excellent, virtuous.

The Hebrew word is Chayil, which is used throughout the Bible for the following words:
1) strength, might, efficiency, wealth, army
            a) strength
            b) ability, efficiency
            c) wealth
            d) force, army

You might notice these are not exactly the same words our English translations use. In fact, I had to study up on this to figure out why this might be. These are words that usually describe male roles, who fight for their land. As women and wives/mothers, we are to fight for our family in every way possible. This makes the woman virtuous, noble, excellent and good.

What are we fighting for? What are we protecting?
Like a soldier in battle for their land, the excellent woman fights for her home. She protects it from any influences from the enemy. She covers our husband, children and home in prayer. She serves her husband (cheerfully, I might add!), to help him succeed in whatever he does. He blesses her children. She manages her home and makes it a haven. She wisely manages her finances and makes sure her work is profitable. She does all these things and more and her children and husband bless her. Her work does not go unnoticed.

The second part of this verse states that she is worth more than rubies (NASB uses the word Jewels).
I found a lesson on Proverbs 31, written by Kathi Woodall, and what she states is fascinating:

What is the significance of being compared to rubies?  In our society, when we think of the most valuable gemstone, we immediately think of diamonds.  But, just as the value of wisdom and the value of a good wife are not recognized by our society, neither is the value of a ruby.   According to a jeweler friend of mine, a ruby of gemstone quality can be worth more than a diamond of the same size, and it is definitely rarer.


Isn’t that interesting? Our society is all about diamonds. We don’t really desire rubies, which can be more precious. Look at society and women. Not only is the lifestyle of the Proverbs 31 woman not appreciated today but it is not even desired by women.

I will continue to post studies on the verses in this passage. I pray that this not only helps you learn more about the Excellent Woman but also encourages you to strive toward these characteristics. Most importantly, do not feel like this is a checklist and you are not a good wife…there is Grace. Ask the Lord to show you what He wants you to improve right now (this is what I have to do!)…if you try to go down the passage as a checklist or feel like you have to be perfect, you will most likely become overwhelmed. The Excellent Woman is not excellent, virtuous, noble or good because of herself, she does it with the Lord’s help. Seek the Lord and ask Him to make you the woman He desires You to be. Then work on it! You can’t continue doing what you do and expect to change…be proactive and make the changes in your attitude, your daily schedule, your work, etc. (Believe me, I am speaking this because this is what I am having to do…I am not the Excellent Woman yet….just striving toward it!)

I hope you will join me as I continue to study the rest of this amazing passage that inspires me to become a woman of excellence.

sources:
http://judaism.about.com/od/shabbatprayersblessings/f/eshetchayil.htm
http://cf.blb.org/lang/lexicon/Lexicon.cfm?Strongs=02428&t=KJV&cscs=Pro

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